there it is, plain as daylight.

Wow, it’s been a while, I realize. The holidays took over my life for a bit, but now I’m back into the daily grind. I worked a lot on the graphic novel over the past week, and things are really starting to take shape. I won’t have as much time, now that I’m back to work, but I’m trying to set some realistic goals over the next few months to keep myself motivated. I truly have never had an original project of my own that excited me as much as this one does, which helps too. I’m hoping to have a final script for the entire series completed by the end of the year, and possibly even well before then, depending on how demanding the rest of my life is. I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions, because I think they tend to set a person up to fail, so I’m not going to make one. But my desire to complete this project is strong, as is my resolve to do so.

I also did some reading over the holidays! Continue Reading »

Happy holidays! I hope you’re all enjoying yours, however you choose to spend them. It’s been a bit of a strange holiday season for me, I admit. This is usually my favorite time of year, but everything has had a bit of a damper on it this time around. This year has been like that overall, I suppose, but I’m still surprised to find myself with anything even approaching the holiday blues. It is very unlike me. I hope this year remains an anomaly, as I don’t especially wish to repeat it. I did enjoy time with family, which was a true pleasure.

Continue Reading »

The weekend can’t possibly come too soon. I’m exhausted in every way, and my creativity is seriously waning.

In better news, my subscription to Shonen Jump has finally kicked in, though they started me with the January issue, so I need to fill in December on my own. (I hear that Paul has picked it up for me this very evening, yay!) Also, I have become mesmerized by Shaenon Garrity’s Overlooked Manga Festival, which includes many series I have been planning to look into anyway, like Please Save My Earth and Sugar Sugar Rune, as well as a delightful write-up of Banana Fish, which I have already started and *love*. The thing you really must look at, though, is her recent entry about Moon Child, which is one of the funniest things I have seen lately. Wow. There is something sublime about that special kind of crack.

Also, I got some really helpful feedback on the most recent summary of the beginning of my graphic novel from the friend whose name I stole for the main character. It was really great to hear what she had to say, and it also left me feeling very positive about the whole thing. I have less than a month to reach my December 23rd goal, and I need all the encouragement I can get right now.

This weekend, we’re hoping to get our Christmas tree, which is honestly one of my favorite moments of the year. For an atheist, I’m bizarrely attached to Christmas. I think the Christmas story is one of the first pieces of fiction that I fell in love with, which may be an offensive concept to some, but I’m fairly certain that my feelings about fiction are not terribly different from many people’s feelings about God, so please understand the gravity of that statement. I very truly, deeply love Christmas, and all the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings that go along with it. My fascination with Christmas trees has been much mocked by my loved ones, and for good reason. Once I’ve decorated one, I have difficulty taking my eyes off of it. Expect photographs in a few days.

Now I shall attempt some script work, and try not to fall asleep.

Today I have a terrible cold, which is not so great for me, but possibly a blessing for *you* who are thus spared a long and tedious discussion of Fullmetal Alchemist Volume 8, and why the manga is so much richer than the anime, since I am much too congested to manage that level of thought. Whatever that level is.

I have Lucy with me at work today, and she is keeping my head from falling off, though I’m sure she’s incredibly bored. I have finally taken a real break, just an hour before my day is done. Fortunately, New York auditions were much more successful than they have sometimes been, and we have a lovely handful of folks to call back next week. It is starting to look like I may be attending callbacks on Monday, which I didn’t intend to do, and which will make for a very long week, as I’ll be leaving Wednesday to hold auditions in Nashville and Atlanta at the end of the week. With four tours going out in January, we’re trying to expand our files a bit, so we sent our PA to SETC auditions this year, and these auditions are a follow-up to that.

I’m feeling nostalgic this week, after seeing Christian (and even Mark, briefly!) on Monday in New York. I drift away from old friends much too easily, and that’s something I need to fix. Old friends, if you’re out there, don’t give up on me!

Lucy is growling at shadows, and I must get back to work.

As you probably can see from my sidebar, I read Neil Gaiman’s blog regularly, and as I was reading last night (about his mutual fanboy encounter with John Simm), it gave me such a smile. I think what I find so charming about his blog, is that he’s just a guy out there, living a life, and it really made me think about what I’m doing with my time. I spend all this time in my own head, brooding about life and life choices, blah blah blah, when it seems like I could just be out there living instead.

Granted, it’s a lot easier to be out living a life when you have the momentum that comes from really loving what you do. But could I find that if I tried? I lived like that once, I think. Back when I was acting and still loving it, and maybe even after when I was at least still loving the travel, every day was about living. Now this is not to say that I’m unsatisfied with my life, because there is so much of it that I love. But what is all this blogging and introspection really doing for me?

I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but as I sit at my desk, forcing myself into taking a break from this long, headachy, meeting-saturated day, I wonder.

Yes, this is what I do when I’m at lunch.

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately, trying to define myself, which is not something I generally place a lot of importance on, but has suddenly been in the forefront of my mind. Something I’ve been struggling with a lot is the feeling that the things I am doing lack meaning. I originally chalked this up to Too Much Anime, but the truth is, it is something I’ve been feeling for some time, and Too Much Anime simply provided a catalyst for discussion.

I currently have a number of half-baked projects in the works, and my official “job” is a bit half-baked right now too, which doesn’t help. Obviously I can’t finish baking everything at once (that metaphor is getting old fast, isn’t it?), which brings me again to the question of defining myself. I defined myself in my introductory post here as “singer, songwriter, theater manager, former actor, stumbling writer, dog-lover, fiction addict, mac geek, wife,” and in truth, that’s still probably only about half of the things I’d have to list if I was being really honest. One person can’t possibly be all that, so what am I?

Lately, I’ve been working on something that very desperately wants to be a graphic novel, despite the fact that I can’t draw to save my life. For the time being, I’ve been sketching out frames with stick figures and other indeterminate shapes with the hope that someone, somewhere might be able to see what I’m trying to express with them and help me bring that vision to reality. This seems unlikely, as I have no idea whatsoever how to go about finding such a person. And yet I persevere. I even spent a couple of hours attempting to draw my main characters in some way that would give the stick figures a bit more meaning, but considering how long it takes me to draw the stick figures, that may have been a bit premature. Paul found me a class to take at UMASS entitled something like “Writing the Graphic Novel,” but when I looked it up online, it had been canceled. Is this a sign?